BABY BABY BABY OH BAAABY!!!!! AHEM cough cough. Excuse me my lovely patients old Dr. Desire is warming up the old pipes. Seems like it’s been forever since Paco and I’s last show. Oh yes I should probably catch you up before I ramble on too much. You see Paco and I were contributors to one of the most glorious ages of music; 1980’s Hair Metal. It was once our profession to don layers of makeup, skin tight jumpsuits, and shred anthem and ballad on a nightly basis. It all found its beginning in the spring of 1982, and what a year it was the Argentineans invaded the Falkland Islands, a Spanish Priest tried to kill the Pope, my football club Tottenham Hotspur won the FA cup, and Michael Jackson released Thriller.
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| Paco brushing the dust of his old Keytar |
Paco and I were in our final year in Med School. We entered Med School after the untimely death of our friend Doctor Jules Macalester in Mozambique. Jules was awaiting the return of Paco and me and working in a small village doing charity work for the war torn nation when a band of Apartheid South African backed rebels wiped the village out, including our beloved friend and doctor. Paco and I were dealing with a huge man-eating bull shark in the Zambezi River called “Tuburao Obito.” After dealing with the brute we returned to find our friend taken from us. Rather than replace dear Jules we continued on like Zeppelin after Bonham. However we still needed a capable physician on our expeditions so Paco and I decided why not take a couple of years off and learn the art of our fallen companion.
So there we were, studying to be doctors by day and playing as the folk rock duo the Med Students of Like by night. This pattern repeated itself until 1982 when we took our last exams. And what do you know we passed with flying colors. To celebrate Paco and I took a trip to Monterey Bay where we drank the night away. After rehashing the night we had found out that we took to the stage with four other equally drunk gentlemen and began to rock and a roll like never before. Two things were born that night; Paco got so drunk that he now is unabile to walk on flat damp surfaces, honestly you should see him trying to walk after a light drizzle, it’s like a newborn taking its first step on oil covered ice, and the second birth belongs to the band that contributed the definition of rock and roll to Webster’s Dictionary, The Doctors of Lust.
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| Our First Album |
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| "Lock n' Loaded and Sticky Fingers jamming on Give Her Respect |
On lead vocals Crackity “Lock n’ Loaded” Jones, on lead guitar Dominic “The Killer Bee” Jacobs, on lead bass Paticio “Nunez” Car, on lead drums Casey “Crash and Tom” Wojtalewicz, on lead keytar Paco “The Rocket Hammer” Picopiedra, and on lead trumpet Joe “Sticky Fingers” Kilkus. Rocking such hits like Love Power Shower and ballads like Give Her Respect we swept through the 80’s like a hair gel through freshly permmed hair, which we all had. Our biggest show was scheduled for the Wembley Stadium parking lot on July 13 1985. Little did we know that the band Queen was playing next door in the actual stadium so our crowd wasn’t as big as we hoped.
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| The Killer Bee Rocking on Love Power Shower |
We broke up before the destruction of Glam Rock at the hands of Nirvana. We thought that the Pixies or the Replacements would be the one to bring down the beast but it took a song about libido and mosquitoes to permanently stifle it. However we still stay in close contact and recently jammed together. Who knows maybe a reunion tour in on the horizon.
And when she seems down, give her the respect she needs, dum dum de dum…
