The Honorable Crackitisious Jones Esquire

The Honorable Crackitisious Jones Esquire
One with the world

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Black Market Shenanigans


            Time again for a trip to my past my loyal and faithful stewards. A representative of S.J.U. or the Soaring Juniper’s United has arrived for a brief stay at the BVC compound. Columba Stewart is his name and he is one of the foremost historians focusing on the SJU. Now one might think this is a little self serving as most of the history of the SJU is written by a member of the SJU but his dedication to objectivity is truly astounding.

            The location of the SJU is hidden to everyone except those in the SJU. One does not so much join the SJU as they are selected before their birth. You see the SJU have many smaller factions around the world which they gladly open to the public. These institutions impart knowledge to some of the keenest minds on the planet, however they do not relinquish all of their vast knowledge to just anyone. These institutions act as a magnifying glass to the people of the world so that they may find those who have been chosen to the order.

            As you may have guessed by my knowledge of the order I was one of these chosen few. Even though I have been in the order for nigh 300 years now I am still in the neophyte stage of their order. Columba is one of the senior members of the order and his understanding of the events of the world are so diverse and brilliant that even in an evening spent with him one feels like their awareness of the humanity has doubled. He has come to join me in the Philippines to depart some of his wisdom to the younger orders like the BVC. One might say that the SJU is the crux of all of the protectorate orders on Earth, of which there are 17.

            Columba for all his age and wisdom still has a wild side that springs forth from time to time. At the secret domain of the SJU there is a font that gushes forth the sweetest nectars in the world. And I say that scientifically, it is the most delicious nectar in the world and I defy you to find one better. This premium beverage like much of the BVC’s wisdom is kept to themselves. But Columba being his sneaky self bottled a bit of this divine sauce and snuck it away with him as a Christmas present. Though it has only been a few months since my last sampling it seems like a lifetime.