Chunneling into the depths of the earth’s crust my mind drifts to the coming year……………… I bet you’re wondering what I’m doing inside the earth’s crust? Very well we will begin with that and move onto my inter-monologue in due time. Being the perpetual competitors that we are, Paco and I decided that a race to Manila would be in the best interest for everyone, with the winner being the greater gentlemen. That’s how gentlemen’s bets work right? As I was saying Paco, that cheeky miscreant, bragged that his aquatic sled-dog team pulled by otters would make quick work of the expedition, but I knew I had him bested for I had called upon the help of my old friend Nikolai Retroski the world famous geologist. You see Nikolai has just perfected his method for travelling through magma via a submersible like contraption he calls the “Incendia Viator.” As I am sure you are well aware the Philippines are a part of the Pacific “Ring of Fire” a chain of volcanoes in the ocean. It is these very lava spewers that formed the 7,107 islands that make up the Philippines.
Hmm what’s that Nikolai? Oh now look what you’ve made me do I am writing everything I say. Well Nikolai had just informed me that we are nearing the surface. I have scheduled a meeting with Admiral Arthur Jackbar of the U.S.S. George Washington which is currently docked in Manila Bay. Admiral Jackbar and I have been friends since our days living in the Mariana Trench doing research on how Lazuli Trench Frogs (volo rana) can withstand the intense pressure and can manifest oxygen in water without the use of gills. It was the Admiral who exclaimed that “It’s a trap!”... a type of venus fly trap, the Lapis Fly Trap (musca oxygenium) that lived in the frog’s nostrils that was able to convert water into oxygen for the frog to breathe. The two species living vicariously off of each other.
Anyway I have received more information from the BVC, which currently stands for the Brethren of the Valiant Carbuncle (it changes a lot apparently), on my living quarters. It seems that they have spared no expense in making me comfortable. While I am generally content with the most basic of necessities like swan down pillows and mink fur toothbrushes they have gone above and beyond. The kitchen is a few steps away, a bathroom adjoined to my own, several meditation rooms within reach, and a training facility, all in all very comfy. Pictures soon to follow. The students that I will be teaching I am informed have been engaged in rigorous and intensive martial and mental arts in preparation for my arrival. Silly little rug rats, they have no idea what I have in store. (menacing laugh) Now that I mention it I don’t even think I know what I have in store. Well I guess I’ll just wing it. Maybe Paco will know more when he gets here, if he ever does. Honestly sled-otters, I don’t know how he thought he could win the race with those furry layabouts. They’re probably swimming in circles for fun as I type.
More soon to follow…
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